Let’s begin

Instructions for use

Gender

• I feel addressed as female
• I feel addressed as male

01 My Journey

• Step 1It was me I was waiting for
  • I recognise my excuses
  • I start shaping my own life
  • My tool: the Diary of Disappointments (DoD)
• Step 2I stay centred
  • Breathing
  • Setting boundaries. Clear. Flexible. Real.
• Step 3I’m a good mother to myself
  • The programmes of my childhood
  • Six wounds that shaped me
    • My reality was denied
    • I was not seen
    • I was moulded
    • My boundaries were not respected
    • Appearances were everything
    • Feelings were dangerous
  • What love looked like to me as a child
  • I forgive you
  • I forgive myself
  • I feel. Therefore I am.
  • The child in me
  • I’m good to myself
• Step 4I’m doing really well
  • Trust is fragile
  • Building trust – in you
    • Reliability
    • Boundaries
    • Responsibility
    • Discretion
    • Sincerity
    • Helpfulness
    • Generosity
  • When trust breaks
  • Building trust – in myself
  • I practise with my DoD
• Step 5I have enough time for everything
  • I worry
  • How do I get out of this
    • Becoming aware
    • Noticing
    • Accepting
    • Changing direction
  • I am a role model

02 My Light

• Introduction
• Spot 1Self-protection: I break open my armour
  • Love is the reward for falling into line
  • My eight suits of armour
    • I expect the worst
    • I mustn’t make a mistake
    • I numb myself
    • He who brakes, loses
    • I charge straight in
    • I make myself scarce
    • Look how much I am suffering
    • I am the coolest one here
  • I take off my armour
• Spot 2The fear of embarrassment: I am not my mistakes
  • Shame
  • Guilt or shame – there is a difference
  • I check the evidence
  • Shame lives in hiding
  • I don’t have to earn my worth
• Spot 3Expectations: I am enough
  • Who do I compare myself with?
  • Do I question my self-worth?
  • How do I get out of it?
  • How do I deal with criticism?
• Spot 4Partnership: I let you get close to me
  • The perfect woman
  • The perfect man
  • When shame enters love
  • We overcome shame
• Spot 5Self-care: I heal my inner child
  • Protecting my inner child
  • An anchor ends the alarm
• Spot 6Community: I belong
  • Taking off the armour
  • Door-opener sentences
  • I don’t point the finger at others
  • What I pass on
  • Closing