02 My light – Introduction

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

This chapter is about my anxieties and fears. There are things I’d rather not do because I’m afraid of embarrassing myself. Being ashamed of something is extremely unpleasant. I adapt because I want to belong. I bend over backwards so as not to run the risk of being excluded from the group.

The real me barely ever surfaces. I have hidden it away behind protective shields, armour and masks. I try to control everything as best I can. And although I’m always there for everyone, I miss that feeling of deep connection with other people.

Just like everyone else, I have dark corners inside me that I prefer to hide. I want to present the best version of myself, and I am always careful not to make mistakes or offend anyone. I live with the fact that I often limit myself. There are many things I don’t dare to do. Some situations make me feel very uncomfortable, so I want to avoid them. There are people I prefer to stay away from.

What would my life be like without the brakes on? What if I managed to release them one by one, allowing myself to make heartfelt decisions in my life? What if I took myself and my needs seriously? What if I identified my internal barriers and lifted them?

I am on my journey. I don’t compare myself to anyone else but myself. I am right. I’m doing really well. I treat myself motherly. I have enough time for everything.